Ephesians 5:28 Genesis 2:23-25
A young couple got married and went on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother. “Well, “said mother, “how was the honeymoon?”
“Mama,” she replied, “the honeymoon itself was wonderful so romantic! But…”
She burst into tears. “Mama, as soon as we returned, Sam started using the most horrible language — things I’d never heard before! I mean all these awful 4-letter words! You’ve got to come get me and take me home… PLEASE MAMA!”
“Sarah,”her mother said, “calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? WHAT 4-letter words?”
“Please don’t make me tell you, Mama, “wept the daughter, “I’m so embarrassed — they just too awful/ PLEASE COME GET ME!”
“Darling, you must tell me what has you so upset. I’m your mother — tell me these horrible 4-letter words!”
– Still sobbing, the bride said, “Oh, Mama…words like: Wash, Iron, Dust, Cook..!!
When Mother Teresa received her Nobel Peace Prize she was asked, “What can we do to help promote world peace?”
– She answered, “Go home and love your family.” Ephesians 5:28 Genesis 2:23-25
Most trouble is caused by disturbed people who are products of either no home or a very unhealthy home life.
– Healthy homes produce healthy children who develop into healthy adults.
The foundation of society is the HOME.
– When the home falls apart and disintegrates, society falls apart and disintegrates.
– That’s why the home’s under attack by “Women’s Lib, Gay Rights, Same-sex marriage,
There are 10 things you can do to build a STRONG, SATISFYING MARRIAGE.
1. MAKE YOUR MARRIAGE A CELEBRATION Every marriage has dreams and expectations.
– Your marriage will be as beautiful, with God’s help, as you make it.
– We all need to say to our spouses: “Honey, I’m so blessed to have you as my wife/husband. You’re special, I’m so glad God gave you to me.”
A MARRIAGE IS SOMETHING TO CHERISH.
My wife has given her life to me!
– Satan will be around to tempt you into thinking someone else might’ve been better.
Someone will ask — “WHAT MAKES YOU SUCH AN EXPERT ON MARRIA6E?” — Near 48 yrs.
If you’ve ever owned a new car, you know how careful you are those 1St days.
– You’re proud of it — You’re careful nothing happens to it.
– A little dirt; you wipe it off — because you cherish that new car.
The greatest of treasures is your husband/wife.
– Hold them close to your heart.
2. ACCEPT EACH OTHER’S DIFFERENCES AND BUILD ON EACH OTHER’S STRENGTHS. In Genesis 2:25
— Standing naked in the garden, Adam and Eve could see God designed them to be different.
– Not just physically, but different in their emotional and spiritual makeup.
– They had many of the same needs and the ability to perform many of the same jobs.
– But they’re WONDERFULLY AND MARVELOUSLY DIFFERENT. (women in combat)
They’re designed to COMPLIMENT AND COMPLETE (not compete) each other.
– They become so much more together than they are apart.
– Listen! You singles and teens be careful who you date — get a Christian.
A couple came to their pastor with a problem.
– For years they’d struggled to change each other and were very irritated with each other.
– One liked to stay up and watch late night TV and then sleep as late as possible.
– The other wanted to go to bed early and get up at the crack of dawn.
– They wanted the pastor to say who was right and who was wrong.
He explained no two people are alike.
– The problem was just a basic difference in their makeup.
– One was a night person — the other a day person.
They should ACCEPT each other as being different….adjust…
– What drew you to that person in the first place was that they were different than you.
– ACCEPT that — build on that strength.
3. REMEMBER, WORDS CREATE THE CLIMATE.
– Words you speak can either BLESS or CURSE your marriage?
What kind of words are you speaking to your mate and family?
– Shut the door on all verbal abuse.
– God wants to help us clean up our language.
– What a difference it makes in family conversation when we follow — Ephesians 4:29
For BEST results in all your communication make your 1st goal to: BUILD UP YOUR MATE.
– LOVE BUILDS UP — 1 Corinthians 8:1
Get rid of critical words and actions that put the other person down.
– Use words which EDIFY and AFFIRM your mate and children.
Be sensitive to areas where your partner is loveable.
– Don’t hit below the belt.
When your mate’s down, speak words that will ENCOURAGE and HELP them feel better about themselves.
– Dad, “Didn’t you know how dumb that was. ….. ……”
4. GIVE UP HAVING TO PROVE WHO’S RIGHT AND WHO’S WRONG.
– It’s time to grow up when you’re married (marriage is for adults) — put away childish games.
– When you have to prove the other person wrong, no matter how right you might be, you
drive a wedge in your relationship.
– Remember, there are always 2 sides.
– There are always 2 viewpoints.
– Your mate has the right to their viewpoint just as much as you do.
– “It’s OK. you’re entitled to your own dumb opinion.”
So, how do you get together?
– First decide it doesn’t matter who’s right or wrong.
– The goal of the marriage is ONENESS — That close feeling of belonging, sharing together.
It’s ONENESS (not rightness) you’re after.
– So how do you find oneness with different viewpoints?
By listening — IT PAYS TO LISTEN — TO REALLY LISTEN.
Thomas Edison was asked to sell to Western Union his original telegraph ticker for their museum.
– They asked how much he wanted for it.
He said he’d have to think about it — he went home to discuss it with his wife.
– She said don’t take less than $20,000.
– He was dumbfounded, ‘$20,000 for that old piece of hardware?”
In the meeting the Western Union representative asked again for his price.
– He was too embarrassed to name the exorbitant figure his wife had suggested.
– For about 30 seconds he said nothing.
– The anxious executive said, “Would you accept $150,0002”
– Edison said that experience taught him he talked too much — he should listen to his wife’s counsel..
James gave good advice for marriages — James 1:19
5. TREAT EACH OTHER LIKE VIP’S.
How would you treat a very important person that came to your house? —
You’d treat them with COURTESY, HONOR, RESPECT.– 1 Corinthians 13:4-5
We often treat those closest to us worse than we’d treat anyone else.
– To get the most out of your marriage start treating your spouse as the most important person in the world. — Ephesians 5:21-30
Give your husband/wife the GOLDEN RULE treatment.
– JESUS prescribed this to make relationships happier for everyone — Luke 6:31
– A good marriage involves trust — George Fletcher in Arlington
– Jealousy will destroy a relationship and a marriage.
6. ENCOURAGE YOUR MATE TO MAXIMIZE THEIR ABILITIES.
– To be all God created us to be we need encouragement, support, and backing by our mate.
– Marty isn’t only behind me but stands with me, encouraging me to be all I can for God.
– I want her to bloom and develop in all of her talents and abilities God’s given to her.
7. AVOID THE “YOU” MESSAGES.
– Have you ever said to your mate, “You never “or “You always”?
– Messages that start with “You´send up red flags.
– It immediately puts the person on the defensive.
– Whether you meant it that way or not.
You make yourself the accuser and the other person has to defend themselves.
– You need to eliminate the “You”messages.
When something’s bothering you talk about it, share your feelings…..your viewpoint.
– Ask their opinion and feelings in the matter
– Remember, it’s understanding we’re after, not misunderstanding.
8. PAY CLOSE ATTENTION TO THE SPIRIT OF YOUR MARRIAGE.
– We all have feelings — you know when you’ve wounded your mate’s spirit — as long as that hurt goes on your marriage is wounded.
When you wound your mate’s spirit things aren’t right! — There’s a strained atmosphere. (What’s wrong? You know what’s wrong! If you don’t know, I’m not going to tell you!)
– One man: “When my wife wore her coat to bed, I knew I was in trouble.”
The problem only festers if you don’t make it right — confess and ask forgiveness if need be.
– Not 50/50 more like 60/40
FORGIVENESS is the key to ENDURING LOVE.
– Healthy marriages are couples who le rn quickly to ask for and give each other
. FORGIVENESS. — Ephesians 4:26 Ephesians 4:32
9. DO THINGS TO KEEP RE-CREATING ROMANCE IN YOUR MARRIAGE.
– Every relationship and every organization is in a constant condition of deteriorating if there’s not RE-CREATING.
– No relationship stands still.
If you don’t do something to RE-KINDLE ROMANCE from time to time it’ll die.
– How do you keep RE-CREATING ROMANCE in your marriage?
– By paying attention….little surprises….being creative.
– Make time to be together (date) — enjoy each other apart from the daily pressures and ruts in life.
10. SUBMIT TO GOD BY SUBMITTING TO EACH OTHER.
– Do you know what’ll really add dimension to your love? A right relationship with God! . – GOD IS LOVE!
The greatest thing you can do is stop rebelling against God and trying to run your own life.
SUBMIT yourself to God — Let Jesus have His way in your life.
“SUBMIT TO ONE ANOTHER OUT OF REVERENCE FOR CHRIST” — Ephesians 5:21