The Story of JACOB and ESAU as a Comedy Sketch
(Scene opens with JACOB stirring two pots over a mock campfire. ESAU approaches.)
ESAU: What’s in the pot?
JACOB. Which one?
ESAU (points to pot closest to him): That one.
ESAU: What about that one over there? (Points to the other pot.)
ESAU: Stew, huh?
JACOB.: That’s what I said.
ESAU: Any dumplings?
JACOli’4 (giving ESAU a weird look): Dumplings? I think you’ve been out in the wilderness too long.
ESAU: I’m just hungry.
JACOB: you’re welcome to try some … (ESAU starts to get a bowl, but JACOB stops him and smiles) . . . for a price!
ESAU: You mean I have to pay for it?
JACOB): I don’t take credit.
ESAU: But I’m your brother!
JACOB ; No one said you had to leave a tip.
ESAU (disgusted): Well, which one did you say was the stew?
JACOB(pointing): That one over there.
ESAU (goes over and smells the stew; then smells the laundry): How can you tell the difference?
JACOB: The stew has carrots.
ESAU: You know, you may be a great shepherd, and even an above-average farmer. But you’re no cook!
JACOB: Hey, man, if you don’t like it, wait till you get home to eat.
ESAU: I would, but I’m famished!
JACOB:So, how much is a bowl worth to you?
ESAU (takes another whiff of the first pot, then the second pot): Are you sure this one isn’t the laundry?
JACOB:(growing impatient): Do you want a bowl or not?
ESAU: I don’t suppose you know what Mom’s cooking for dinner
ESAU: Leftovers of what?
JACOB: Leftovers of last night’s leftovers.
ESAU: Oh, it doesn’t matter. I’ll never be able to wait anyway! (Goes over to first pot and stirs it) I’m so hungry I could eat a—(looks in pot) Hey, didn’t you skin this thing before you cooked it?
JACOB: (Looks into pot): That’s my hat! I said the stew pot’s over there! -(Points.)
ESAU (goes to second pot, looks in, and stirs): I think I’d rather eat the hat!’`
JACOB: Suit yourself.
ESAU: Well, anyway, you haven’t told me what this stew’s going to cost me.
JACOB: I’m willing to make a deal.
ESAU: Yeah? (suspicious) What kind of deal?
_JACOI What would you say if I told you that you wouldn’t have to pay me any money?
ESAU: I’d say you’re up to something.
JACOB: Just give me your birthright and well call it even.
ESAU: My birthright for a bowl of stew? Do I look stupid?
JACOB: One thing at a time, Esau! Now, do you want the stew or not?
ESAU: That’s a pretty high price.
JACOB. You’ve always wanted to be the baby of the family. Now’s your chance.
ESAU: You just want to switch places, huh?
JACOB. I want your birthright.
ESAU (looks at stew pot): I am awful hungry.
JACOB: Do we have a deal then?
ESAU (takes big whiff of stew, sighs, then shakes JACOB’S hand): We have a deal, little brother!
JACOB: Correction. Big brother.
ESAU: Well, then, big brother, hand me a bowl and stand back! I’m starving! (
JACOB (dips some stew into a bowl and hands it to him.) I sure hope this tastes better than it looks!
ESAU: (Takes a bite, then spits it out) There’s rocks in here!
JACOB: A few lumps in the gravy.
ESAU: I know! I just chipped my tooth on one!
JACOB: Sorry, no refunds.
ESAU: But this stuff tastes like mortar!
JACOBA deal’s a deal, little brother.
ESAU: But I made a deal for a bowl of stew. This is cement with carrots!
JACOB:,,A hearty stew is supposed to stick to your ribs!
ESAU: Stick to them, yeah! Not break them on the way down! Hey, why’s my birthright so important to you?
JACOB: It just is.
ESAU: Well, I get the feeling I just traded away something very valuable for a lousy bowl of stew!
JACOB:”You didn’t consider it valuable until you lost it. And now it’s gone, little brother.
ESAU: But you caught me at a weak moment!
JACOB: I had to. Do you think you’d ever trade your birthright for a bowl of my cooking if you weren’t starving?
ESAU: But it wasn’t a fair deal. My birthright will last you a lifetime. I’m only going to be tasting this stew for a month or two!
JACOB:It’s too late to change your mind.
ESAU: But I traded away something everlasting.
JACOB: So, you got what you wanted—a bowl of stew.
ESAU: And everlasting heartburn.
JACOB: It’s not my fault you couldn’t resist the temptation.
ESAU: And I can’t change my mind?
JACOB: Too late for that!
ESAU: Well, in that case, dish me out another bowl . . only this time, make it the laundry!
SIN MAY SEEM PLEASANT FOR A MOMENT……SIN HAS ETERNAL CONSEQUENCES.