November 19, 2013
I never cared enough about “myself” or felt “I” was worthy of anything good, but I have believed and cared enough about others to want to protect “them” from anything like I have ever known.
I have always thought others to be more valuable and worthy than myself.
I have never thought I could measure up.
Do you ever have negative thoughts like this? I suppose it is a part of me God is still working on. I will do anything and everything that is in YOUR best interest, but I have to be encouraged to take care of myself. I will not even take care of myself for “me” but I will do it for “you.” I know… so backwards. And while I’ve always had a lot of confidence in my abilities, I’ve struggled with low self esteem and think it’s probably why I became a model even. I have just never believed I could measure up or deserved that which is good, because of where I come from.
Now, I understand the root of this thinking comes from not believing God could love me unconditionally if my own parents couldn’t even love me. Logically and spiritually, I have learned this isn’t true, but non-the-less, it is still in the back of my mind. It is still something I struggle with at times.
As a survivor, one of the most difficult things in the world
may be learning how to silence the voice of your perpetrators –
learning how to hear God’s voice above and beyond even yourself.
Please take a moment to watch this video. It is a wonderful demonstration of the differences which often exist between how we view ourselves and how the world sees us, especially as women. It really hit home and I felt some relief as the tears flowed down my cheeks.
STOP hating yourself for what you aren’t
and START loving yourself for what you are!
When you don’t feel like you measure up take a moment to ask why, what, and whom you are comparing yourself to. Try to remember who your Creator is. He made you exactly the way you are and you are perfect in His eyes. He designed you with intention and purpose, to be unique and not like others, but to most resemble who HE is in character. If we quit comparing and measure ourselves only as God measures us, then we will experience the self acceptance and love as He intends, affording ourselves as much grace and forgiveness as we tend to extend to others.