Few who are married would deny the fact that from time to time they encounter people of the opposite sex whom they find attractive (other than their spouse).
The attraction itself is not the critical issue. How we deal with it is.
Every marriage is a mix of profoundly deep bonds of love and intimacy, coupled with periods of frustration and dismay. Even anger. It may be during these times of stress that we find ourselves particularly attracted toward another person who appears on the scene.
In fact, we may well be surprised and chagrined; even alarmed at the power of the attraction, and at the fertility of our imagination.
The trouble begins when we cross the line by allowing the other person entrance into the sacred place of emotional intimacy rightfully reserved only for our spouse.
To cope with that attractive other person, let me put forth two resolves:
- Flattery: “I resolve not to allow the slightest seed of flattery or manipulation to occur between myself and that other person.” In the case of men, to treat other women as sisters (1 Timothy 5:2).
- Imagination: “I resolve to control my imagination by bringing every thought under Christ‘s Lordship.” (2 Corinthians 10:5)
To strengthen the bonds of our marriage, let me put forward three resolves:
- Commitment: “I resolve to remain faithful in spirit and body to my spouse. No person other than my partner will be allowed entrance into the sanctuary of intimate emotions that is to be reserved solely for the two of us.”
- Communication: “I resolve to work daily at maintaining close and meaningful dialogue with my mate. I will choose to listen from the heart.“
- Affirmation: “I resolve not to take my beloved for granted, giving him (or her) reassurance through regular expressions of gratitude, deeds of kindness, and tender touch.”
“A man who commits adultery lacks judgment; whoever does so destroys himself. Blows and disgrace are his lot, and his shame will never be wiped away.” (Proverbs 6:32, 33)